Soundtrack to my Life V. 3
Opening Credits:
The Saga Begins - Weird Al

It's good opener, I don't know where my life is going from this. Could be a spoiler.

Waking Up:
Kitty - POTUS

I prefer to think of this as a pet owner song, rather than a sex song.

First Day At School:
I Need - Meredith Brooks

I do think this an adolescent view of necessity.

Falling In Love:
That's Just What You Are - Aimee Mann

More of a break-up song, but it could be about accepting someone's differences

Fight Song:
Mae Hiraeth Yn y Môr - Charlotte Church

Not really a fight song. Unless it's an internal struggle about traveling or staying put.

Breaking Up:
The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin

This is a weird break-up.

My Robot - Looper

Taking a sex robot to the prom to get over a weird break-up is rarely a good idea.

Life is Good:
Build Me Up Buttercup - Foundations

Maybe a found myself a cheerleader?

Mental Breakdown:
Macho Man - Village People

I guess I'm having an identity crisis.

Summer's Cauldron - XTC

I could drive to this song.

Flowers In The Window - Travis

Very chill flashback, maybe wistful.

Getting Back Together:
Global Warming (feat. Sensato) - Pitbull

Fine. This relationship is doomed.

Chan Chan - Buena Vista Social Club

It's good being married song, I don't think it's a good getting married song.

Paying the Dues:
Drive - REM

So I'm a drug dealer?

The Night Before The War:
The Lord's Prayer - Charlotte Church

Probably should pray before going to war.

Final Battle:
Robotussin - MC Chris

Going to war over cough syrup? Why not.

Moment of Triumph:
The Future Soon - JoCo

I've won the robot war and showed up my former crush.

Death Scene:
You Fool! Warren Is Dead! - Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

So I'm both Harley Warren and Annakin Skywalker? Okay.

Funeral Song:
The Message From Dr. Light - Megas

My mad scientist father sure is broken up about my death.

End Credits:
Man Who Sailed Around His Soul - XTC

Truly a wasted life.


Best Slasher Villains
10. Jigsaw

9. Angela Baker

8. Pinhead

7. Pennywise

6. Chucky

5. Leatherface

4. Hannibal Lecter

3. Freddy Krueger

2. Jason Vorhees

1. Michael Myers

Hunter! at the Reckoning
Looking at the source material for Hunter (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, Grimm) I noticed that Hunters tend to be born of a special lineage or have a special reincarnated soul. I still prefer people who just stumbled into craziness and want to do something about it.

I'd do away with virtues and creeds. I'd keep the classes that were used in the Hunter video game.

Avenger    =  Fighter
Martyr       =  Thief
Judge       =  M-U
Defender  =  Cleric

I'd divy most of the Edges to Judges, followed by Defenders, then Martyrs, then Avengers.

I kind of wish I could do more, but it's not a deep game and its appeal is to people for whom too many mechanics or too much mysticism is a turn-off.
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Changeling! at the Dreaming
Once again, I'd move away from the reincarnated soul aspect. I'd like to move back into the idea that a Changeling is a fairy that was raised as a human. Someone that was changed as an infant and learns the truth as an adult. I'd give the option of human raised by faeries as maybe a couple of backgrounds, but I don't want to have it determine what kind powers a character can have.

The kiths, the kinds of fairies that characters can play work well and I'd keep all of them. I don't remember the fairy houses and I don't know anyone who does, so eliminating them is easy. I'd also eliminate the seeming. By taking away the reincarnated soul concept, we also take away the thousands year old soul in the aspect of a human child, adolescent or grown-up. Like I mention with Werewolf/Wesen, worlds of darkness games are sexual and I don't want to play a sexual game where people are playing children. I got rid of the rape and racism from Werewolf/Wesen and I'm getting rid of pedophelia from Changeling.

The axis I'd introduce is the Winter / Spring / Summer / Autumn fairy courts. These have more mythic wieght than the made-up noble houses from classic Changeling. Winter and Summer have more mythic resonance, but people would accept Spring and Autumn as well, and we need to spread out the power types and sources a bit.

Something that's great about Changeling is that Freddy Krueger is a fairy creature. Dark fantasies are still fantasies. Dreaming about mowing down zombies in the apocalypse is just as childish as dreaming about tea-time with unicorns. Clarence the Angel inspiring George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life is a Changeling mission, and so is Tyler Durden inspiring Ed Norton in Fight Club.

I think that Changeling doesn't play well with the other games because it takes the piss out of them. It's not adult to be edgy, it's childish. I don't have a problem with these games being childish, I'm writing about them with appreciation, and I still acknowledge that palying rock paper scissors while pretending to be a vampire is escapist. Playing the Incredible Hulk with Sailor Moon powers that fights Captain Planet villains is fantastical. The darkness in the world of darkness is an adolescent darkness, not an adult darkness.

Sorceror! at the Awakening
Mage: The Ascension isn't really a game, it's more of a philosophical treatise on the premise of consensus reality. Consensus reality is a poor premise for co-operative role-playing. Not only is there no reason for players to play, there's no way to. We need an objective rules system for players to interact through and if the goal of the game is to get the rest of the world to agree with a character's worldview it doesn't make sense for characters with different worldviews to team up.

But, I still want to play Harry Dresden and / or other urban fantasy wizards in a Worlds of Darkness game. Sorceror makes a better basis, the Sorceror Paths scale better than Mage Spheres. One dot isn't useless and five dots don't make you game-breakingly powerful. Getting rid of Arrete and Avater gets rid of useless math and conceptualy gets rid of innate power levels and hardcoded reincarnated souls, which opens up other urban fantasy magic to be emulated.

There are too many Sorceror Paths so lets clean them up a bit.

Binding (Capturing & Commanding)
Conjuration (Telekinesis & Teleport Object)
Divination (Knowing Past or Future)
Fortuna (Blesses & Curses)
Healing & Infliction (Duh)
Mana Manipulation (Detecting & Countering Magic)
Shapeshifting (Duh)
Summoning (Calling Forth)
Warding (Protection)

Not a bad list, but I see that mind magics are missing (outiside of Binding) and blasting magics are missing. I suppose I could use this as a general list and use unique magics for different Sorceror types. That would make a little more sense as a Tradition replacement.

I'd keep the Technocracy as a primary antagonist. Men in Black types that are more anti-magic than pro-coverup. Science wins over magic not because people want to believe in it, science wins over magic because it works in spite of people wanting to believe in it. That's what the scientific method is. And the idea of paradigms and consensus reality falls apart if people know that's what the world runs on. But thematically the idea of super-science bad guys who want to kill and / or brainwash wizards make pretty good enemies. Plus evil wizards and demons and anything else for flavor. But the Technocracy is pretty much the thing from Mage that most people remember.
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Wesen: The Apocalypse
The basis of the Werewolf: The Apocalypse was a team of Incredible Hulks with Sailor Moon powers fighting Captain Planet villains.

The first way I'd change is this to take away the genetic werewolves and replace them with infected werewolves. I don't want to play a baby hulk who's a lesser version of daddy hulk. How are you going to be an angry rebel if you're just like your parents? So instead of Teen Wolf or Twilight think Harry Potter or Underworld. Like vampires, the wesen form would be based on either the pre-wesen's personality or the infecting wesen if that character if the pre-wesen doesn't have a clear or strong personality. This also eliminates a lot of the rape and racism inherent in the setting.

Next is why I'm changing it from werewolves to wesen. Wesen is the catch all term for humanimals in the television series Grimm. By changing it wesen I open it up to other creature types and eliminate various werewolf clans that no one cares about annyway. The werewolf myth is not an aristocratic myth like the vampire myth and establishing a political game doesn't make sense for it. One of the other reaons to establish more were-creatures is to increase the chance of having sex as the result of a gaming session. One of the sellign points of Worlds of Darkness games was that it was a way gro nerds to get laid, but I don't know anyone who got laid because of werewolf. That being said I'll establish the kinds of wesen as the most popular forms of furries;


These are all animals that I can imagine experiencing rage, or at least rabies, allowing for hulking out in game. Dragon seems like a power option right off the bat and I'd have to do something with the mythology of the Wyrm. But there also plenty of sexual ladies who digs dragons and crystals and this game needs something for them as well.

The last bit is to expand from powers based on phases of the moon to powers based the ten astrological planets; Moon, Mercury, Venus, Sun, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. If the sun and moon can be planets, pluto can still be a planet. The moon has a strong connection to werewolves, but not any of the other creatures. I also think it's more evocative to say Sun Wolf or Pluto Skunk than it is to say Gibbous anything.

So I'd take all the powers divide them up into these 20 categories and players would pick one list of powers from animal type and one list from planet type.

And that's how I'd Werwolf: The Apocalypse as a base and make it a game I'd like to play. Next is a tackling of Mage. Wish me luck.

Vampire: The Masquerade

This is the one World of Darkness game with anything worth saving. New WOD did a good job of addressing the issue of generations removed from Cain. First step is eliminating Generation as a game stat. Older vampires are more powerful because have more points to build their characters, not because they have a stat that makes them immune to younger vampires' powers or makes their own powers automatically succeed against younger vampires. Next step is keeping the war of ages thing going. Fledgeling vampires, i.e. the players, can feed off animals but prefer humans. Elder vampires can't feed off animals, can't feed off humans without killing them and prefer to feed off other vampires and supernatural creatures. Antediluvians can't feed off animals or regular humans, can't feed off fledgeling vampires or similar powered supernatural creatures without killing them, and prefer to feed off of elder vampires. Everyone's afraid of when the really old vampires awaken.

Next step is addressing the assignment of Clan. When a person is turned into a vampire, Clan is based on the person's pre-existing personality. If the person doesn't have a strong personality, the embracing vampire can force its clan on the person. Most vampires choose to embrace someone with similar personality traits to him or herself. This helps ameliorate the problem of vampires from different clans not co-operating.

Next is choosing which Clans are involved in the new Camarilla, the vampire conspiarcy to keep vampires hidden from humanity.

Unique Discipline: Quietus
Mental Discipline: Obfuscate
Physical Discipline: Potence
Clan Weakness: Fondness for vampire blood over all others, other vampires recognize them as predators.

The Lasombra & Ventrue brought them into the fold as enforcers, channeling their taste for vampire blood against vampires who break the masquerade or threaten their rule of the clans / humans.

These guys are the Brujah done right. A butt-kicking clan with stuff to do when they aren't butt-kicking. I switched out Celerity for Potence because I wanted the Nosferaftu & Ventrue to have the good physical discipline to make up for not having unique disciplines. Quietus is still a strong enough discipline that this is a good choice.

Followers of Set
Unique Discipline: Serpentis
Mental Discipline: Presence
Physical Discipline: Fortitude
Clan Weakness: Weakness against any bright light, not just sunlight.

Joined the Camarilla for mutual benefit.

I think snake-themed Egyptian vampires are cool. I traded out Obfuscate for Fortitude because I wanted each clan to have a physical discipline and I didn't want too many clans to have any one mental discipline. Serpentis is still a cool discipline.

Unique Discipline: Protean
Mental Discipline: Animalism
Physical Discipline: Fortitude
Clan Weakness: Gradually becomes more beastlike.

Some people prefer the Tzimisce because they think Vicissitude is a better Protean. Vicisstitude is a body horror discipline not a shapeshifting discipline. Protean isn't as powerful as quickly as I'd like, but it does something different. Vicissitude is a displine that doesn't play well with others. Better for an antogonist than a protagonist. The other complaint I hear about Gangrel is they're too close thematically to Nosferaftu. I disagree. Gangrel are supernatural and bestial. Nosferaftu are othernatural and alien. Protean is an okay discipline and Animalism is a strong discipline. This is an okay choice.

Unique Discipline: Necromancy
Mental Discipline: Auspex
Physical Discpline: Potence
Clan Weakness: Damage from feeding is harder to heal.

Since I changed how Clans are assigned, I'll change the backstory of this clan a bit. When Augustus Giovanni was first turned, he turned other members of his mortal family and they hunted down other Necromancers to make sure that the family had a monoploy on Necromancy. They joined the Camarilla so they could have access to any outsiders that get embraced and manifest as Giovanni. In return they give up any mortal Giovanni that manifest as another clan. It's a small price for the necromantic monopoly. The Camarilla likes having access to someone with necromantic powers.

These guys are the Tremere done right. Unlike other clans, the Tremere are too powerful. Necromancy is a good disipline, but it's nowhere near as powerful as Thaumaturgy. I swapped out Dominate for Auspex, too keep the mental disciplines evenly distibuted and it helps explain how they tracked down other Necromancers.

Unique Discipline: Obtenebration
Mental Discipline: Dominate
Physical Discipline: Potence
Clan Weakness: No reflection.

Some people see them as the Ventrue done right. I see their point, but it doesn't make sense for there to be a political game with only one political clan. This way the Ventrue & Lasombra are rivals & allies, playing off each other but united in making sure that no other clan gets more power. Like Democrats & Republicans. Obtenebration & Dominate are both powerful disciplines. This is a strong choice.

Unique Discipline: Dementation
Mental Discipline: Auspex
Physical Discipline: Fortitude
Clan Weakness: Madness

I'm not a fan of this clan. It's a weak choice and way too popular. But it's popular despite being a weak choice. People want to play vampire Joker & Harlequin. Like the Followers of Set, I swapped out Obfuscate for Fortitude and for the same reason. It's now an even weaker choice, but I don't think that would affect it's popularity.

Unique Discipline: None
Mental Disciplines: Animalism & Obfuscate
Physical Discipline: Celerity
Clan Weakness: Ugliness

Three good disciplines make this a good choice, but no one's going to play them because people want to be sexy vampires not disgusting vampires. They're still evocative enough that I think the game is better if they're on team protagonist.

Unique Discipline: None
Mental Disciplines: Dominate & Presence
Physical Discipline: Celerity
Clan Weakness: Refined palate.

Presence is a weak discipline. Dominate & Celerity are both strong disciplines. It's not the strongest choice, but it's no longer a weak choice.

The three Camarilla clans I've eliminated are Brujah, Toreador & Tremere.

Brujah were supposed to be tough, but they weren't that tough and couldn't do anything but fight. Now the Assamites, Gangrel, Nosferaftu & Ventrue are tough.

Toreador are a clan no one cares about. Anyone can like pretty things, so there's no feel to hold on to. Some people liked it for Celerity, but Ventrue & Nosferaftu have that now.

Tremere is the power gamer clan. That's why people play them. They're too powerful for team protoganist. Quietus is a powerful discipline, Obtenebration is a powerful discipline. Serpentis and Necromancy are interesting disciplines. All the new clans have something for the power gamer. Even Nosferaftu and Ventrue are improved.

That's how I'd do it.

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Best Movie Monsters
9. Bride of Frankenstein

8. Irena from Cat People (1942)

7. Frankenstein

6. The Fly

5. Godzilla

4. Jaws

3. The Thing

2. King Kong

1. Alien

Soundtrack to My Life, v 2
Opening Credits:

De La Yaleo                       (Santana)

Nice almost pure instrumental, sets up my life as a romance.

Waking Up:

Across 110th Street                 (Bobby Womack)

Getting pumped to overcome an obstacle, life's not going to get me down.

First Day At School:

Blackout                               (Darkest of the Hillside Thickets)

Guess I'm not going to learn much.

Falling in Love:

How Much Longer                 (Eve 6)

Struggling between hopeful and hopeless. That sums up first love pretty well.

Breaking Up:

I’m Not The Girl                    (Rachel Farris)

I don't know if I'm putting too much pressure on her or she has some weird ideas about societal expectations and what it means to the two of us.


Searchin’ My Soul                 (Vonda Shepard)

That is a prom song.

Life’s Okay:

Sunny Came Home               (Shawn Colvin)

...maybe it will be?

Mental Breakdown:

Susie-Q                                            (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

...maybe I got these last two mixed up.


La Det Pa Is                          (Ylvis)

Goofy Norwegian rap is good driving music.


Blue Seas                               (Ogham Waite’s Amphibious Jazz Band)

I like the flashback this implies.

Getting Back Together:

Maria                                   (Blondie)

Nicely, genrically romantic.


The Innsmouth Look            (Darkest of the Hillside Thickets)

Fits with the flashback. I guess Maria was a fishwoman and we got married under the ocean.

Birth of a Child:

Beyond the Sea                     (Bobby Darin)

I guess I missed the birth.

Final Battle:

Never End                             (Namie Amuro)

This for all the marbles

Death Scene:

Walk Away Renee                 (Vonda Shepard)

I've got a lot of failed relationships

Funeral Song:

Ca Plane Pour Moi                 (Plastic Bertrand)

This is a fun funeral.

End Credits:

All You Zombies                  (Hooters)

I guess the moral of my life is get right with Christ.

Casting Happy Birthday Wanda June
Harold Ryan played by Cameron Gharaee

He's played Al Capone and a Fake-istan prince. Harold Ryan is a hyper-masculine caricature who's escaped from foreign imprisonement two days from being declared legally dead. Cameron can play menacing and dead.

Penelope Ryan played by Ayelet Zurer

She's played Vanessa Fisk in Daredevil. Penelope is a woman who was taked in by Harold's bluster and wealth when she was younger but has grown disgusted with the glamor as she got to knew him and in his absence.

Norbert Woodley played by Ryan Phillippe

Needs no introduction. Norbert's the responsible civilized doctor who's won Penelope's heart in Harold's absence.

Herb Shuttle played by Vin Diesel

Needs no introduction. Herb's a vacuum cleaner salesman who wants to be a tough guy like Harold Ryan, but has never actually done anything tough or terrible. He's been trying to court Penelope in Harold's absence and tries to suck up to Harold when he returns.

Looseleaf Harper played by Eric Roberts

Needs no introduction. Looseleaf is a pilot who was captured with Harold and doesn't really want to return to his old life. He dropped the bomb on Nagasaki (would have to be somewhere else in a remake), but isn't very proud of it.

Paul Ryan played by Pierce Gagnon

Just a kid actor. I can see him as kid who idolizes a larger than life father he never met and it would be a jarring image when this kid finally pulls a shotgun on his old man.

Wanda June played by Marsai Martin

Just a kid actor. Wanda June is a little girl who gets hit by a car on her birthday so Herb buys her birthday cake on the cheap as a way to celebrate Harold. She delivers a sarcastic soliloquy from heaven.

Mildred Ryan played by Ana Franchesca Rousseau

She looks like a softer Ayelet Zurer. Mildred is Harold's first wife who he drove to suicide. She delivers a sarcastic soliloquy from heaven.

Major von Koningswald played by Jean Reno

No introduction needed. The Beast of Yugoslavia killed heroically by Harold. He delivers a sarcastic solilioquy from heaven.


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